Since this blog is a love-related blog after all, I will more often than not post past stories and experiences and share tips that I think might help. Or might not help. Whichever.
It's ok to reminisce but it's not ok to become rapidly obsessed with past memories. If it's in the past, it's in the past for a reason. If it's a memory, it became a memory for a reason too.
Recently, I was looking at some of my past diary entries. I've kept a diary since I was 9 and it's almost becoming 10 years worth of content and memories. Mostly boy-filled and my best friend used to tell me I was obsessed with boys. (More like, obsessed with love.) Whenever I'm reading through old entries, I always go back to one diary. The green one. From the year 2012. Him.
He changed me, he really did. I became harder, sharper, stronger. More daring, more playful, bolder. That was the year when I realised love isn't an emotion. It's a game and if you play it wrongly, you lose. (Of course, that's what I thought back then. My feelings on this are constantly changing, especially now that I'm much older and more mature.)
He saved me, literally. And he broke me. I went back to read my entry on the breakup and it was surprisingly mature. I thanked him for changing me and I was grateful and appreciative and everything. Yadda yadda yadda. Then a month later, I wanted to start a revenge story on him called "The Temptation" series; Love, Betrayal and Wonderlust. (I reread my plot for it just 10 minutes ago and I thought it was still pretty good.)
Then I thought, hey, that's such a stupid and petty thing to do, honestly. A revenge story on your ex? Please. I can do better than that. Even though the plot may be relatively interesting, it's still a story about my ex and do I really want to spend time writing whole stories based on him? Honestly, he isn't worth that much. I don't want to keep referring to my old diary entries and all our old text conversations to build up my story, ya know?
So I guess what I'm trying to say here is, you may want to dig up the past and reread them and reminisce and shit. But if you keep holding on to the past, or wanting to do something that will constantly plague you and remind you and make you think about your past 24/7, it's better if you just forget about it. Leave it where it belongs; in an old book, in old pictures, in old cards. It's better if you burn them clean away though. (I'm looking at you.) I'll be burning one when I turn 21 because that was a promise and I intend to keep it. Get rid of the evidence and maybe it won't be so painful.
I am no expert and I would like to hear your opinion on this post. What are your thoughts on this? Did I miss something out that you think I should have most definitely included? Leave me a comment, drop me a message. As always, think with your mind, live to your heart's desire and love wholeheartedly with your soul.
Lots of Sugar,
Nicabeth
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